"It is lonely being your own leader." This is the message the yoga instructor reminded Arie and me throughout the hour long yoga class this morning. This was an interesting message to receive only a day before I would embark on a 7 week journey out of the country. This message was given after completing a sequence of flowing poses and then allowing our own breath to guide each additional movement. We were instructed to be in tune with our own bodies and move through positions that our body needed. I barely know when I'm hungry, tired, or thirsty let alone which pose is going to satisfy my internal muscular needs. But there I was, sweating profusely while awkwardly trying to listen in on my body to see what it needed. Using a combination of the previous sequence of poses, made up positions, and looking at those around me, I managed to buy some time before we came together as a group in downward dog. Did I satisfy my internal muscular needs? I don't know, but I sure was tired by the end of that hour. Even though yoga instructors encourage you to go at your own pace, I still feel a sense of dependency on those around me. I can't help but wonder, am I doing it right? Is this a deep enough stretch? Simply put, what do I do? That is the beauty of yoga, there is no right answer. You really do go at your own pace. Usually, I'm fairly in sync with my body, but with the excitement of leaving in one short day, my mind was all over the place. It may be lonely, but sometimes it is necessary to be the leader of your own life and take control of your happiness. This statement might be slightly extreme because I believe it is possible to be the leader of your own life without being lonely. When you lead the life you truly want while in the presence of others, you are able to take comfort in those around you. There are always people that are willing to share in your experience; you just have to let them into your life.
At the beginning of the class we had to find purpose in our practice and decide what we wanted to get out of the next hour. I knew that my mind couldn't be tamed from the growing excitement of the next few weeks, so I decided to focus on getting a good workout and strengthening my muscles. After yesterday's fiasco when I almost dropped my suitcase on train passengers, I thought this would be a reasonable goal. Honestly, yesterday's embarrassment helped me hold the poses a little longer, deepen the stretches, and push a little harder. Vulnerability and embarrassment work in mysterious ways. I've always been a runner, but recent events have inspired me to continue building my upper body strength. In high school I ran cross country, and now my workouts consist of a couple mile run whenever my jeans are beginning to feel a little too snug. I'm afraid to write this down with the likely chance that I don't follow through, but maybe I'll continue to have a more balanced workout routine while in Copenhagen. One can dream.
Heading into Manhattan, I had the opportunity to practice my "navigating public transportation" skills. Rest assured, I'm getting better. During the past few days I have utilized all forms of transportation minus boats. Trains and airplanes and New York traffic, oh my. After a short train ride and a jump to the subway station, Madi and I were soon wandering aimlessly around New York City. I may be getting better at navigating trains, but that doesn't mean I can't get lost on foot. Luckily we found my three favorite things: coffee, music, and books.
No comments:
Post a Comment